Much of the emphasis in the spiritual formation movement
focuses on personal disciplines such as prayer, Bible study, solitude and
silence. While these are good activities to engage in, an overemphasis on
individual activities may result in a devaluing of the role of community in
spiritual growth. My experience of spiritual community was started in my
biological family, developed in my youth group and refined through professors
and church leaders who invested in me. While I intuitively knew that I needed
relationships for spiritual growth, it was not until I took a class called
Friendship and Community: Context for Spiritual Growth that I started to
understand why relationships are so important. God created all humans in His
relational image. Our interdependent nature is something we cannot avoid.
We cannot play at community
development--it is essential to who we are and profound enough in its
implications to keep us pursuing it until it climaxes in that great communal
celebration of Lamb and Bride. It is not
an optional choice for those more relational by nature. It is not possible to set it aside to pursue
private gain and find the blessing of God upon us. The Old and New Testaments are filled with
reminders of our connectedness to others and our fruitlessness without that
awareness. Nor is it possible to grow up
in Him by simply embracing the concept without allowing the reality of the
needs and presence of others to cut across our lifestyles.[1]
This claim is quite startling if you really think about it.
We cannot grow up in Christ alone. That means I need others, I am vulnerable,
and at some level I am dependent on others. If the spirit of individualism and
self-reliance runs as deeply in you as it does me, these are pretty terrifying
thoughts. We fear rejection, betrayal, not living up to people’s expectations,
and a whole host of other things that keep us from really connecting with
others. “Yet if we wish to keep moving toward a full-orbed friendship with God,
we must grow in our relationships with others within the body of Christ in
order to stretch our emotional and social capacities for befriending the God
who is love.”[2]
While God is the source behind our spiritual transformation,
He ordained His people to be a conduit of His life-giving power. So those who
try to “go it alone” spiritually are short circuiting God’s design for
spiritual growth. We wonder why God is not moving in our lives and releasing us
from the clutches of our sinful patterns. We pray for victory over sin and find
ourselves defeated in a vicious cycle. “As people are cut off from others and
their souls are starved for connectedness, the need for love turns into an
insatiable hunger for something . . . so if you are in the growth process
yourself or responsible for the growth of others, see connectedness as the
foundation of how people grow.”[3] Spiritual community is a discipline we cannot
afford to neglect.
[2] K.
Issler, Wasting Time with God: A
Christian Spirituality of Friendship with God (Downers Grove , IL
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